Posted by: Karen (Betty Bear) | January 26, 2013

crap and a month or two

Two or so weeks ago we had a warmish day and I took the dog over to the reservoir for a hike. About a mile or so into it I slipped on a steep part and landed hard on my hand holding the leash and my butt. For a while I thought I had broken a finger it hurt so much. After much whimpering I managed to get myself back to the car and drive home to the ice and ibuprofen. I decided nothing had been broken although one knuckle still is a bit sore if pressed down on. I don’t know if that started it all, but I’ve just felt like crap for the past few weeks. You know that feeling that nothing is really right and you can’t do anything really right and nobody really cares about you and why should they because you aren’t really worth it? Yeah, that feeling. Blame it on having the husband be out of town for two weeks (I hate single parenthood for more than two days), adolescent kids who kept having unattractive adolescent characteristics pop out, hormones (exactly HOW long is peri-menopause supposed to last?!?), and really cold weather.

So November just sucked, December passed in a blur of recovery from the hurricane and my father-in-law’s death and the holidays and January has been the month of grump so far. I have had enough. I will drag myself out of this slough of despond by my bootstraps. Parenthetically, does anyone know exactly what bootstraps are and how one would go about pulling one’s self up by them? For the next month, I am going to try my damnedest to post on a daily basis at least one thing I grateful for. I am also going to do something physical every single day. At the end of the month I’ll reassess and decide if I’ll do it for another month or not.

I’m grateful for the pillow I found at Pier 1 today that looks lovely on my new sofa in my new sunroom. (I’ll try to remember to take a picture in daylight tomorrow.) I’m grateful for how bright and sunny that room is, cheering me even in the dark winter days. I’m grateful I can tell my girl child that she has been a grumpy self-absorbed 16 year old for two weeks and she needs to cut it out and she actually will apologize and then cook dinner with me and we can have a pleasant meal together.

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Responses

  1. January has been peculiarly difficult for me, too, this year. More than usual. I have much sympathy and empathy for you, especially for your falling down injury. Feel free to check in if you need a reality check, even if it is a text. Glad you have your sun room!

    • Thanks, Skye! It seems to be going around, like the flu or something.

  2. So sorry to hear about your hand. I did that at a Jewish wedding, dancing, but it was a bone in my foot. Didn’t see the doctor and it took about six months to heal. Anyway, some months are like that, but they help us to appreciate the wonderful times. I think getting exercise is key. Whenever I’m in the doldrums if I can push myelf to exercise it fixes a lot of things. Teenagers…I got nuthin’…I have successfully blocked all memory of those years. : )

    • I need to remember that about the bad months when they happen, because you are right.

  3. I fell once in a parking lot and moaned for what seemed like hours. I don’t know if anyone saw me, but no one came to my aid. How is it I still felt embarassed? Nice post, just made me think of that memory which makes me consider your post worthwhile since it provoked a thought.

    • Um, thank you. I think.

      • lol

  4. Sounds like a touch of the all-overs! January is always a month of grump for me — too cold, too icy, too dark. Like Robena, I have blocked the memory of the teen years…

    • The all-overs! I like that. Your pictures have been a spot of cheer, though.


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