Posted by: Karen (Betty Bear) | October 17, 2011

Why me? or why not me?

Today’s challenge I totally rocked because I did it yesterday! It was share something about a healthy food you like. Hope you all enjoyed the kale salad recipe!

Please come over here and smack me if I sound all self-satisfied when you read this, because that is really, truly not where I want to be going. Right now I have a number of friends who are having problems. One, about whom I’ve posted on Facebook, is just truly experiencing a cosmic shit storm of epic proportions. I have only know her through the internet, but as we all know, the interwebs can be a powerful force for goodness and friendship. Her story goes like this: happily married, has a daughter who was experiencing some bullying crap of the 11 year old sort a year or so ago. Since my own girl child had been through that, I emailed her with some suggestions and my girl child and her girl child emailed as pen pals for a bit. I sent her some books, she sent me some. All was good. Then her son who was around 2 1/2 or so was diagnosed with severe autism. They were beginning to get a handle on how to deal with that when their city (Brisbane, Aus.) was hit by a massive typhoon. Their house was flooded up to the second story and after 8 months they were finally able to get back in it. Then her husband came down with viral pneumonia which damaged his heart so badly he needs a transplant. He got a heart pump installed but has had innumerable complications and has been hovering on the brink of death for weeks, unconscious.

Friend 2 has 2 girls my girl’s age and a boy my boy’s age. She has a husband who, as a person I really like, but the man CANNOT keep himself employed. Her brother died about a year ago and they took in their 15 year old nephew. The kid’s mom had died when he was 8, father remarried a bitch from whom he was in the midst of divorcing when he died. The kid has been doing drugs, running away from home, trying to get their other kids to try drugs.

Friend 3 has two little ones, boy 6, girl 3, and is in the middle of a nasty divorce, needs to find a job, and just moved again. There are others who are dealing with illnesses, deaths, unemployment, all sorts of shit. And they are all good people who truly don’t deserve the crap that the universe is throwing at them.

Then there is me. I have 2 loving parents who raised me well, encouraged and loved me, educated me, and are still living happy, healthy lives, I got a good education, I married a really good guy who makes a good salary, I have two amazing kids at whom I marvel every single day, I’ve never gone hungry, never not had someone upon whom I could depend. The worst thing that has happened to me was my three miscarriages, and now, 16 and 13 years later, there are a number of ways I’m glad I had them because of the growth they forced me into. But really, what on earth have I done to deserve the life I live? Not a damn thing. I mean, I’m not a bad person, but I’m certainly not Mother Theresa. So why do some people get crap handed to them and others a box of chocolate? Some days I feel like I’m waiting for the shoe to fall, for the shit storm to hit my life, because, seriously? No one can be this lucky. I try to be grateful for it all every single day, not to take it for granted, not to believe I deserve it, because the corollary to that is that the people who got handed crap deserve that, and I know that’s not true.

I don’t have any answers for this one and it bugs me.

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Responses

  1. I”m behind, so I had to read back to find out about the daily challenge. What a cool idea! Definitely keep telling us. Maybe I will even sign up, I love that they aren’t all about dieting and exercise.

    I don’t have any wisdom on your big question. I wonder about it myself. I haven’t been quite so blessed as you, but still– never missed a meal, never been homeless, married to a great guy that shares his salary without a grumble. And I deleted a couple of things out of that list because it seems like asking for disaster. It is entirely unfair the way things are distributed in this world.

    • I like that they aren’t all dieting and exercise too. It gets me to think about healthy living in a more holistic way.

  2. I totally agree with you both (oooh big shocker there), and I too feel tremendously blessed. What I think our job is, as those with so much (metaphorically speaking), is to be grateful. Also, to help others whenever we can. The more we give the better off we all are.
    No, we can’t always help as much as we would like, but some days all we need to do is show up. By loving and supporting our friends we are sharing the caring, and very often that means more than we even realize.
    Julie

    • Oh definitely! I really do believe that to whom much is given, much is required, whether that is in material things or spiritual or emotional. I also believe that grateful reception of a gift is a gift to the giver. Okay, that got confusing, but still understandable, I hope!

  3. “I try to be grateful for it all every single day, not to take it for granted, not to believe I deserve it, because the corollary to that is that the people who got handed crap deserve that, and I know that’s not true.”

    Ditto. To the nth power, ditto.

    Let me know if you figure it out, okay? Because I REALLY want to know.


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